October 18, 2024
Melissa McGlothren, LCSW
Bloom Counseling LLC
Have you ever thought to yourself, “self, I am in my 30’s/40’s/50’s, I have managed throughout life without any significant mental health challenges, only to find myself experiencing this horrible, debilitating anxiety.” Or, “self, I have struggled with anxiety and/or depression before, but it was well managed, only to find myself feeling like I am going crazy!” If you can answer yes to either of these, I want you to know that you are not alone!
Too often, I see middle aged women in my practice who are asking these very questions, and wondering what in the H-E- double hockey sticks is going on with them. These are women who are well educated, smart, have life experience, access to resources, and find themselves in this space of chaos and confusion.
No filters needed ladies…it’s time to get real, honest, and raw about the challenges and struggles we face during this transition. Let’s band together to embrace this time in our lives and learn how to find our way back to ourselves. You may just discover some strengths within yourselves, that you never knew existed before.
Let’s start with the million dollar question: What is Perimenopause?
According to the Mayo Clinic, Perimenopause means "around menopause" and refers to the
time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years. Perimenopause is also called the menopausal transition. As you go through perimenopause, your body's production of estrogen and progesterone, key female hormones, rises and falls. There is no designated time or age for when a woman will enter this transition; some women begin to notice changes in their mid 30’s whereas other women may begin to notice changes in their 40’s. A few of the many symptoms that can accompany this transition may include:
● Irregular periods
● Hot flashes and sleep problems
● Mood changes
● Vaginal and bladder problems
● Decreasing fertility
● Changes in sexual function
● Loss of bone
● Changing cholesterol levels
● Cognitive changes
This list is not all inclusive, nor will every woman experience each of these symptoms. Please be mindful of the symptoms that you are experiencing, keep a journal of your experience, and present this to your Medical Provider or OB/GYN for further exploration and discussion.
Perimenopause and Emotional Health:
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the owner of Bloom Counseling LLC, providing psychotherapy to women in the midst of this transition, my goal is to provide psychoeducation and emotional support. We as a whole, are critically lacking in this area. We need to do better, we must do better!! According to the North American Menopause Society, “mood swings, short-term memory loss, and difficulty thinking straight are common complaints from midlife women.” I am seeing women who have never experienced mental health complications prior, who are now presenting with severe anxiety, depression, and other emotional health issues, as they are entering and experiencing Perimenopause. I am also seeing women who have histories of anxiety, depression, and trauma, where symptoms were well managed, and now to their surprise symptoms have exacerbated, causing women to feel out of control and helpless. According to various sources, perimenopause can cause a variety of mental health and emotional changes, including but not limited to:
Mood symptoms
About 40% of women experience mood symptoms during perimenopause that are similar to premenstrual syndrome (PMS), such as irritability, low energy, tearfulness, moodiness, and difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can occur at times that are not related to the menstrual cycle.
Depression
Perimenopausal women are about 40% more likely to experience depression than premenopausal women. The risk of depression is highest before and after menopause, and declines two to four years after the last menstrual period.
Anxiety
One in three women experience psychological changes, including anxiety, during perimenopause and early post-menopause.
Suicidal thoughts
One in 10 women experience suicidal thoughts during perimenopause.
Rage
Mood swings, sadness, and even rage are not uncommon during perimenopause. One study found that irritability is the most common symptom for 70% of women.
Finding Our Way Back To Ourselves:
During a transition such as Perimenopause, it can be quite common for a woman to feel as if she has lost herself. Considering the many physical and emotional symptoms that can accompany this transition, it makes perfect sense that one may find themselves in this space of loss, loneliness, confusion, and isolation. This can lead to guilt and shame and leave a woman wondering “what is wrong with me?” or “what am I doing wrong?” Let’s not suffer in silence any longer. Each person’s journey to finding their way back to themselves may look different, and that is okay. This is not a one size fits all approach as each and everyone has their own unique set of circumstances. However, here you will find a few helpful tips that can support you on your journey.
● Make time for yourself- Self care is not selfish; it is imperative for our well-being. Self care can be anything that brings a sense of peace, calm, and ease. Think music, reading, nature, a cup of coffee or tea, journaling, yoga; the list goes on and on. By engaging in self care, this allows us to create healthy habits and a new way to make space for ourselves.
● Find your Glimmers- Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. Glimmers are moments in your day that lead to feelings of joy, happiness, and peace. Again, this can be any of your self care activities or anything else that may help you to feel a sense of relief and peace.
● Practice RAIN- Tara Brach's RAIN is a mindfulness technique designed to help with emotional difficulties. It stands for Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. You start by recognizing the emotion you're experiencing, allowing it to be there without judgment, investigating it to understand it better, and finally, nurturing yourself with compassion and understanding.
● Self compassion- This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend in difficult times. It includes recognizing your own suffering, not being harshly self-critical, and offering yourself support and comfort.
● Reach out for support-Social support is crucial for emotional health. It encompasses the help and comfort we receive from friends, family, and our social network, and it plays a significant role in managing stress and maintaining mental well-being.
Understanding the emotional impact of perimenopause is crucial for navigating this significant life transition with greater ease and resilience. As we’ve explored, the hormonal fluctuations and physical changes associated with perimenopause can bring about a range of emotional experiences—from mood swings and irritability to feelings of anxiety and sadness. Recognizing that these emotions are a natural part of the process can help normalize them and reduce feelings of isolation or frustration.
By acknowledging and addressing the emotional side of perimenopause, we empower ourselves to seek support and adopt coping strategies that can make this transition smoother. Whether through therapy, lifestyle adjustments, or connecting with supportive communities, there are many ways to manage the emotional challenges and embrace this phase of life with confidence.
Remember, perimenopause is not just an end but also a beginning—an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, embrace new strengths, and forge a path toward a vibrant and fulfilling postmenopausal life. As you navigate this journey, know that you’re not alone, and the tools and support available can help you thrive through every stage of this transformative experience.
Bloom Counseling offers individual psychotherapy with a focus on women’s emotional health. Stay tuned for more information related to upcoming group therapy offerings for women beginning and/or living through this transition.
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